Queen in a Home of Her Own {Part 1}

by Shelley


I have this vivid memory of my daughter beginning her transition. Globs of thick brown batter were spattered across the cluttered counter top.  Dirty dishes were lined up as if patiently waiting their turn to be washed.  Laura, my eight year old daughter had flour smudged on her face and was attempting to be queen of the kitchen.  Her scepter was the spatula; her cape, a kitchen towel. Her loyal subjects, two little brothers, were eagerly waiting around the kitchen table for their queen to present them with some fragrant reward from the oven.  She was the girl who would be queen.


At what age do you begin to hand over your domain to your daughters? At what age do you begin to groom her to reign as queen in her own home?  For most of us, the years of 12-18 are the years we begin to train our daughters in the domestic arts.  But, if we would look at women of the past, a case could easily be made for our daughters to learn much before this time and be capable of running our home by age 12. A prime example would be Mary, mother of Jesus, who between the ages of 12-14 was given the honor of bearing Jesus.  Such a young girl as this was ready at this tender age to handle this enormous privilege and responsibility. This very idea runs counter to the popular thinking of today that tends to prolong childhood and delay adulthood responsibilities.

At age eleven my daughter, Laura, began babysitting for a little girl. At age 12 Laura stayed with this little girls mother for 12 hours every day as she became very ill with each of her pregnancies. Laura’s responsibilities were to tend the little three year old girl, do laundry, meal preparation and clean up, and picking and weeding the family garden. This may sound like it was a lot of responsibility for her…but she was ready and eagerly wanted to do this!   So, how did we get from the 8 year old “queen” of the kitchen to a 12 year old ready to take responsibilities for someone else’s home?  Are you ready for a secret? I have discovered a simple formula that will give your daughters godly maturity. It is very simple.

Responsibility = Maturity.  Minimizing responsibility = irresponsibility. 

Understanding this is one thing, but how can we make the transition from theory to reality? Next week we will talk about your role, Mom, in her transition.


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P.S. I am so excited!! We are starting our fall classes for B’twit and B’tween for Moms and Daughters going through The Companion Guide to Beautiful Girlhood. Do you have your books yet? Sign up for our online classes by  signing up for the RSS feed!


This article was  published in Home School Enrichment and Raising Homemakers blog.


{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Heather July 22, 2011 at 12:48 pm

This is a GREAT post! I just found you today through Pumpkin Seed Press. This is very encouraging as a mother of a daughter. She’s just 3, but she loves to help in the kitchen and with laundry!


Jasmine July 21, 2011 at 7:58 pm

Shelly, thank you for sharing this post. My girls are learning early to take on responsibilities in the home that will prepare them for the future with joy.


Melissa Morgner July 16, 2011 at 7:16 pm

I love that formula! With a big family, I have had no choice but to give them responsibilities early on. But it has proven to make them much more able. Of course, there are still some areas I hold onto more tightly than others. I look forward to your next post!


wpadmin July 18, 2011 at 11:11 am

That’s right Melissa, this formula really does work! We live on a farm and I had many health issues during this time that made it imperative for the children to take on more responsibilities early on.


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