How to Survive the Tween Roller Coaster Ride

by Shelley Noonan

My-name-is-Wendy-Thompson -and-I -have-my-first-tween.

Whew, now that I got that out of the way, I feel so much better. Oh wait, I have two more. Ugh. But there’s time. They are just eight and seven right now, much better than almost twelve. I’ve got time.

Truly, I watched my friends  with older girls  go through this tweenage roller coaster ride and I thought to myself, “Mine won’t be like that.” But here I am and she is. Just. Like. That. And the ride has  just started.

So, where do we go from here?

First, spend time with her. 

I would suggest that as a first time tween mom, love her, even when you’d like to lock her in her room and throw away the key until she’s twenty-one. More than anything right now, she needs to know you love her, with her eyes rolling out of her head and everything.

Second, be there for her.

I know, I know, it’s hard to be in the same room with someone who sighs so much, you know, with the lack of oxygen and stuff, but as moms, we have to. God has shown me that she is starting to change, body, mind and heart. She is testing waters, trying to figure out who she is. We, as moms, need to nourish those changes. We need to show her God’s mercy and guide her towards Him. He wants to be a part of her life. We know He needs to be a part of her life. Guide her towards Him by how you respond and live your life. Spend time with her. Listen to her, try to avoid tuning her out because it’s hard to communicate. The more you listen and not lecture back, the more she is apt to let you in, a little more. And you need to be “in”.

Finally, encourage Dad to spend time with her.

Our goal is to instill the need for purity and mutual respect in her relationships, with boys and girls, but right now, I am focusing on boys. At this age, she needs to be focusing on learning, not boys. However, the changes she is going through and the people she is around are going to make a difference. Encourage her by having Dad show her how men should treat ladies. Have him take her on dates and show her how special she is. Every little girl wants to be treasured by their earthly father. If the earthly father is not a part of her life or a good part of her life, show her in the Word how her heavenly Father treasures her and how He created her, perfect, just the way she is.

All this said, I’m just starting and I wouldn’t change it for the world. This journey that I am beginning with my sweet daughter is going to be a roller coaster ride and I want to be the first in line.

Be blessed, until we read again.

Wendy Thompson

I am a stay at home mom of 3 beautiful girls, 11, 8 and 7. (T Girls Rock is our motto.) I enjoy volunteering at the local food pantry and cooking. I love God and being home with my kids. I love my husband and that he works so hard for us. I am a work in progress, learning a little bit more about myself all the time. You can find out more about me at

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Carissa August 24, 2011 at 8:55 am

I’m not even sure how I stumbled onto this website… but Praise God! I seriously, laughed, cried, and felt completely understood, by what you wrote above about girls. I’m so happy I found this! I have an 11 yr old girl, who we have been on the roller coaster for a few months! Praise God for answered prayers!


wpadmin August 24, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Oh Carissa,
I am so happy you did! My prayer is that B’twixt and B’tween can be a place where we can grow in understanding of our daughters, ourselves, and in the unique design we have of being women.


Wendy T August 18, 2011 at 10:57 am

Thank you everyone! I am so humbled by your kind words.


Kelly August 15, 2011 at 11:53 am

O Wendy! I have 4 girls! I know what you are saying. Thanks for your good advice.


Andy Lancaster August 15, 2011 at 8:11 am

Wendy, I’ve always enjoted reading your blog. I’m proud to see you published elsewhere. Thanks for your Godly example in your family and the community. May our Father continue to bless you in your family and your writing.


Carolyn Miller August 12, 2011 at 8:35 pm

Wendy girl,
You are a true inspiration to me and have been the biggest blessing here at Harvest House to me, the clients, and to other volunteers. You always have a smile and an encouraging word. For all of you out there, Wendy does our non-profit facebook, is working on a newsletter and blog for us, took a certified kitchen manager course and will head up our local soup kitchen called The Solid Rock Cafe; she also came up with the name. She and her girls volunteer here helping folks shop for groceries in our non-profit grocery store, stocking shelves, fill school supplies orders for area children and is the most positive and energetic lady I know. She is a true treasure…no wonder she’s got great kids; she leads them by example. Wendy girl, I love you! Carolyn


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