Four Componants of Mentoring Your Daughter

by Shelley

Fall is just around the corner! For many of you this change in season signals a new beginning of sorts, a new season of spending time with your daughters. If we were to put a formal name on this intentional time it would be called Mentoring.

My personal definition of mentoring is “to teach WITH PURPOSE ON PURPOSE, the correct morals, standards, values, and ideals.” Simply put, mentoring is an everyday pattern of sharing your life with your daughter in an effort to guide her. While this purposeful teaching happens in the everyday rhythm of our lives, it is important to plan specific times when you can purposefully teach the particulars.

Yes, mentoring involves time, but what do we do in those mentoring moments?

Your T-I-M-E should include the following:
T- Transparency. With all mentoring the real sharing begins at the heart level and involves an appropriate degree of transparency on your part. If you feel the Lord nudging you to share a specific peak into your heart make certain that it 1. Has a relevant lesson in it. 2. Present the experience to her and then shine the Light of God’s mercy and grace through it. Show her and tell her how God used this situation in your life to bring you closer to Him. Psalm 78:4

I-Intimacy True intimacy is birthed from (appropriate) transparency. It seems to me that at a certain age, girls struggle with it being all about them! While this is a natural stage of development for our girls, it is important to draw those in-grown eyeballs of theirs to an outward gaze. Your role here mom is to enlighten your daughter on the roll of a give and take relationships. While you are making sure you are a student of your daughter, and meeting her needs, you can gently train her how to develop a healthy, godly interest in others.

M-Meaningful On one level, we have the opportunity to teach our girl meaningful things during this time such as never wear white after Labor Day, never wear black to a wedding, and always wear clean underwear. (Have I dated myself?) Or we can teach her things that have eternal meaning such as acquainting her to her savior Jesus, how to develop a quiet time and how to pray. The concept here is make your moments count!

E-Enjoyable Mary Poppins advice of “a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down” applies to mentoring your daughter. Let’s face it, sometimes it take more than a spoonful of sugar to make life’s medicine go down. Mom, you know your daughter better than anyone. You know what makes her excited, what gives her joy, what drives her. Our challenge is to be certain to incorporate FUN into the mentoring time and make it something she wants more and more of.

Shelley Noonan

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Lori August 29, 2016 at 3:00 pm

Hi Shelley..
Many of the links I clicked on are no longer available. I was just curious if there are updated links or if this site is current. I am very excited to get started with the Beautiful Girlhood study!
Thanks so much.


Shelley January 30, 2017 at 10:49 am

Hello Lori,
Thanks for making me aware of this! In the process of making changes.


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