Chapter 9 – The Beauty of Truthfulness

by Shelley Noonan

Hello again,

This week we will  concentrate on the first of two related chapters. Chapter nine focuses on the quiet beauty  that results in our spirit when truthfulness is present and next week, in chapter ten, we will talk about the loveliness of sincerity. Truthfulness is the foundational way you perceive and measure events and situations in your life and sincerity is the way this truthfulness is shown to others.

As I write this chapter I think back to my own girlhood I have to sigh because I am the least qualified to write this chapter! You see, before Christ, I always had a lie upon my lips to get me out of trouble. Rationalization and Justification were my constant bad-girl companions.   Here is how the thought process went:  I was terrified of the consequences of my actions and to cushion the blow (get out of trouble) my imaginative (sinful) mind spun detailed lies to release me from the punishment. It wasn’t until I came to know Jesus as my Savior that I was convicted of this ugly sin and my cowardice.  At age nineteen I began to understand the wisdom of Proverbs 23:23. “Buy the truth and don’t sell it.”  So, it is with great humility I present three benefits of  truthfulness.

Truth Beautifies (Lies are Ugly)

Chapter nine reveals that truthfulness is a beautifying agent in our lives. The author paints a picture of truth sitting on a woman’s head like a gorgeous crown. The face is made beautiful by a noble heart and clear conscience.  The “light of honor” brightens her eyes and the beauty of character makes lovely even the homeliest of faces.  Truth is more effective in the beautification process than the most costly of creams or extreme reconstructive surgical procedures!  And the best part is its effects last a lifetime and into eternity.

Truth Protects (Lies are Harmful)

In Psalm 40:11 we find our second advantage of truthfulness. The truth always protects. When I did a word study on this passage I discovered that when we apply God’s truth to a situation, it always, always protects.  The word always in Hebrew means continually, constantly, regularly, and daily. Truth is a guardian that will accompany your daughter wherever she goes. It promises to continually preserve and protect her even when you aren’t with her on her journey through beautiful girlhood.

Truth Sets Us Free (Lies Enslave Us)

And finally, I found that just as John 8:32 says, “You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.” God’s word is The Truth. It’s alive and active and has the ability to do surgery on our hearts. God’s word has the ability to remove and extract the lies we believe.  I am so thankful His word doesn’t have an expiration date. If we apply His truth to our lives no matter what age or stage we will be set free from what holds us captive.  Beth Moore, in Setting Captives Free, used this equation to illustrate the point.

 My Truth (experiences, environment, situation) + God’s Truth = Freedom

 

As you walk this chapter out in The Companion Guide to Beautiful Girlhood with your daughter, go for it with all your heart.  Do the questions and activities. Put in the hard work and don’t be afraid of the transformation that truthfulness will make!

Humbly wearing the Crown because of Him,

 

Activity: Truthfulness can be expressed in your daughter’s life in so many ways. It is the straight forward telling of the truth, it is not omitting the whole truth, it is being honest even when it hurts.

  • Read Chapter 9 in Beautiful Girlhood and in do the questions in The Companion Guide to Beautiful Girlhood.
  • This week look for ways your daughter is being truthful and praise her.

Memory Verse:

Proverbs 23:23a

Buy the truth and don’t sell it

Ponder & Post:

It has been said that Suzanna Wesley would not punish her children if they told her the truth about a situation. She rewarded them for telling the truth.

  • How do you feel about her method of teaching truthfulness in her children?
  • How have you taught and trained your daughter in the ways of truthfulness?

_________________________________________________________

 

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Barb S. November 9, 2011 at 8:17 pm

Another area of our lives where it is so important to be truthful is our walk with the Lord. http://trainingourdaughters.blogspot.com/2011/11/truthfulness-in-our-christian-walk.html

Reply

DeAnna August 11, 2011 at 10:04 pm

Thanks so much again for all of your hard work and direction in helping me teach my daughters! We have had another since last fall so now with a 17, 13, 9 and baby daughters, I need all the help I can get being a mother to my girls. Not too mention my 4 year old son who needs a good GODLY example to look for in a wife.

Thanks so much again,
DeAnna Lovette

Reply

aknenarben February 15, 2011 at 1:49 am

I was very pleased to find this site. I wanted to thank you for this great read! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post. See ya

Reply

Serita Raterman January 22, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Relying on your instinct is tough for most of us. It can take many people a long time to build a strong moral system. Its not the sort of thing that simply just happens.

Reply

Ninfa Holowell November 17, 2010 at 7:43 pm

I really liked your blog! It helped me alot…

Reply

Ron Tedwater November 17, 2010 at 7:35 pm

Really nice post,thank you

Reply

lab technician November 11, 2010 at 3:07 am

Do you people have a facebook fan page? I looked for one on twitter but could not discover one, I would really like to become a fan!

Reply

Shelley November 11, 2010 at 3:27 am

We do have a facebook page for Pumpkin Seed Press. http://www.facebook.com/pumpkinseedpress We offer specials, contest, and it is a great place to start discussions and get answers about questions you might have.
Thank you so much for asking!

Reply

Jan November 9, 2010 at 8:06 pm

I think that Suzanna Wesley’s method of handling truthfulness and discipline is a good beginning to encouraging honesty in our children. However, I do believe there are some children who might eventually see this as an opportunity to get out of punishment. It seems like this is one of those issues where we really have to go on a case by case basis and pray for God to give us wisdom about whether or not further punishment is needed. There have been times, especially with my older daughters, that we have forgone further punishment as an incentive to encourage honesty. We enjoy literature based homeschooling and read many books where we can see the rewards of truthfulness and the problems that result from dishonesty. And as always, being grounded in God’s Word is important because we are told there over and over again that God values truthfulness. One of our favorite ways to encourage this for the little ones is Steve Green’s “Keep Your Tongue From Evil”.
On a more personal note, my issues with truthfulness are less about the covering over of personal sin and more about not being able to speak the truth in love when it is needed. In other words, not wanting people to dislike me if I am called on to share a hard truth. Ow, what a form of cowardice! Interesting how God continues to allow me to be in situations where I have an opportunity to work on this.

Reply

Shelley November 10, 2010 at 4:26 pm

Jan, you always make me think!
I agree with you that Suzanna Wesley’s method is a good beginning for encouraging honesty in our children. It is one method that I am sure she used to foster the trait of truth telling in her children. I believe it is one method of many. On the other extreme there is the over correcting of our children. This fosters a hiding of the truth. In H. Clay Trumbel’s book mentioned in the resources called Child Training, brought up this excellent point. He warns parents about the harm that can occur by being overzealous in their disciplining of their children. Overzealous discipline is done publicly, emphatically, constantly, harshly and with very little grace bestowed upon the offender.

My thoughts are that in each and every opportunity we have to train our children we are training them how to respond to their Heavenly Father. Suzanna’s unorthodox method actually encouraged the principle found in 1 John 1:9 “ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” When we sin, we are encouraged to run to God and immediately admit what we did wrong. He, in turn, promises to forgive us our sins and purify us from unrighteousness.

Again much prayer and wisdom need to be applied to each situation we encounter with our children and instead of these concepts being the rule, let them be suggestions for the reader to apply prayerfully to their child.

I agree also with you Jan, speaking the truth in love is a toughy, especially when we fear rejection. Rejection is a biggy for me! Let’s commit to speak the truth in love even if we might be rejected by the one we are speaking to Galatians 6:1” Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”
I think this passage gives us a method in which we are to approach others. Gentle restoration is the goal. It’s the same goal we should have when disciplining our children.

I love to hear what you are thinking and how you are processing the chapters Jan. Iron sharpens iron.

Anyone else have a comment?

Reply

Jan November 11, 2010 at 5:12 pm

Shelley, I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m advocating being harsh with disciplining a child who lies. I believe that in certain situations, for the child who is trapped in a pattern of lying, that to not punish them because they told the truth could be an encouragement for them to continue in their lying. Especially in a situation where the child may only have confessed the lie when they knew it was about to be discovered, rather then coming as soon as they were convicted about it (or not being convicted about it). Regarding the possibility of punishing even when the truth is told, I see it as sort of along the lines of when we’ve confessed our sin, we receive forgiveness, but we still have to bear the consequences of our sin. And those consequences serve as a reminder of the pain of our sin, encouraging us to avoid it in the future.

Thank you for the admonition to speak the truth in love. I have been convicted about my fear of man issues, and that is one of them! I have a specific situation in my life where I need to speak the truth in love but I am having a hard time because I don’t want to hurt that person, yet I realize that I am hurting them by not speaking the truth. I really need God to help me do it His way.

Reply

Shelley November 15, 2010 at 12:15 am

Dear Jan,
No, you don’t sound harsh at all! I understand totally what you are saying about the snare of lying and agree. I also whole heartedly agree that with this statement you made…so true! “when we’ve confessed our sin, we receive forgiveness, but we still have to bear the consequences of our sin. And those consequences serve as a reminder of the pain of our sin, encouraging us to avoid it in the future. ”

Again much prayer and wisdom from above must be applied to each situation we encounter with our children and instead of these concepts being the rule, let them be suggestions for the reader to apply prayerfully to their children’s life.

Thanks for the exchange Jan!
.

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: