Chapter 7 – Watch Your Tongue

by Shelley Noonan

My oh my,

Remember the  saying, “Cat got your tongue?” Sometimes I wish he (the cat) would just take my tongue! I never seem to be at a loss for words. Maybe this isn’t something you struggle with…but I do. I would imagine if we sat down for a  heart-to-heart you might tell me you struggled with controlling your tongue, too. Just this last week,  feeling convicted about this very topic, I fasted from critical words. Without even knowing it, I had allowed my mind to run into the  dangerous territory of critical thinking…and then I allowed the words to journey just as  freely out of my mouth. This is one fast I am going to continue because the benefits were so impressive! Better attitude, better relationships, and better self control.

In your relationship with your daughter. I can’t stress how important your behavior is in this area. Your daughter is watching, imitating, and in some cases holding up your behavior to God’s standard. This week, plan on doing the discussion section and activities with your daughter in  The Companion Guide to Beautiful Girlhood, and I want you to carefully consider this topic for yourself and your daughter.

Check Your:

Tone – How does your voice come across to your families ears? When we reply to questions or comments or even make requests in a snapish or harsh way we are conveying that we are impatient or angry. On some levels, our tone gives others a cue on how to respond to us. (Proverbs 15:1)  Train yourself to speak in a gentle tone…even if you are perturbed!

Text- Do you realize that out of the abundance of your heart your mouth speaks? (Matthew 12:34b)  In other words, your mouth reveals what is in your heart right now. It is like a snapshot of what is happening in your thoughts and emotions. Scary, huh? Take note of the inner dialogue that is going on in your mind. Line it up to what the Lord says about the topic! (2 Corinthians 10:5)

TimeWe have all been around someone who would not, or could not, take the cues that they were talking too much. In effort to communicate their thoughts and feelings, they overlook the need for two way conversation and end up saying way to much! (Ecclesiastes 10:14) Make sure you are not over talking and giving

                                                                           TMI-too much information, using

                                                                           TMW-too many words, or taking

                                                                           TMT– too much time conveying your thoughts.

This week my prayer for you is that you will allow God to examine you use of words and you will be encouraged to grow in this area of tongue control with your daughters!

Minding my mouth!

______________________________________________________________

Activities:

  • Read Chapter 7 Beautiful Girlhood and The Companion Guide to Beautiful Girlhood
  • Want to put that tongue of yours on a diet? Take a fast  for one week from critical thinking and unkind words.
  • Read  and meditate on these verses about the tongue.

The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just (Psa. 37:30).

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked (Prov. 10:11).

The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but a perverse tongue will be cut out. The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse (Prov. 10:31, 32).

The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value (Prov. 10:20).

The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the hearts of fools (Prov. 15:7).


_________________________________________________________

Memory Verse:

Psalm19:14

May the words of my mouth and the mediation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

_________________________________________________________

Ponder and Post:

  • Think about ways you can develop better control over the words you speak and the thoughts you think about and post them for all of us to be encouraged!
  • What are some ways to cultivate self control in this area for yourself as well as your daughters?

_________________________________________________________

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Sarah March 22, 2012 at 2:18 pm

This is truly one of the things that I need to work on. I know that sometimes I will blow my top and say something that I didn`t mean and most of that time something that was by far not true. I am praying and asking God to help me with this. I know that it is one of my weak spots and that`s why I enjoy this book so much, it lights a spark and reminds me of the things that i need to work on, something that I have neaver even thought of.

Dear lord,
Please help me as well as the other women here to reamber this lesson and to work our hardest to improve our weaknesses. Lord I pray that you help us all in our diffrent points of weakness.
for it is in Your Name I pray,
~Amen

Reply

Heather Brown October 24, 2011 at 8:00 am

I certainly needed this. I tend to have what my closest friend and I call “verbal diarrhea”. I tell way too much and then I look back thinking “Oh no, why did I tell them that?”. I have gotten better, but still need to work on it.

I am going to look into the “Beautiful Girlhood” book, thanks!

Reply

Kristi October 24, 2011 at 6:05 am

What a wonderful reminder that I need to watch it! I often pray that the Lord will give me the right words, but I need to always remember that their little ears are listening to my heart as well.
Thank you for your blog. My daughter and I often have long conversations about them. I may not always comment, but you are always shared~
Kristi Baker

Reply

Carla Stout August 9, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Shelley,
You and I spoke at the beginning of the summer about a BG group that i was starting back in June. Well, we began and are getting ready to discuss Chapter 8 tomorrow. We have three moms and 5 girls in our group. It is going pretty well, but sometimes I feel like we moms are talking too much…and it’s hard not to when there is so much to say about these important topics and us moms are so full of “wisdom” and want to share it. Any suggestions here? I really wish you could sit in on one of our meetings…any chance you will be in or near Charlotte, NC any time in the future??? I know, probably not…but I can dream! 🙂
Anyway, I also wanted to ask you if you would pray for me. Chapter 7 was a real doozie for me. I have always struggled with my tongue and tone. I have prayed for years about it, for the Lord to change me, but it is still an almost daily battle…and I often fail. My harsh tone, and often words, have been ingrained in me…a habit that I feel I cannot break. I know the Lord can do it, but I think He is using this ongoing battle to train me in dependence on Him and perseverance. I trust the Lord’s plan and work in my life and heart, but I feel weary. I get so angry and disappointed with myself for “blowing it” with my kids. Just please pray that God will take my anger, irritability, and harshness away from me, replacing it with a gentle and quiet spirit…or that He will give me the energy, stamina, and faithfulness to trained in this area, trusting Him with the results! I really long for a gentle and quiet spirit that pleases the Lord and brings peace to others. Thank you Shelley!

Reply

wpadmin August 24, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Hello again Carla!
I have emailed you a few times, but have not heard back from you. I so wish I could speak with you personally. You mentioned about the moms might be talking too much. May I encourage you? Think about setting aside a time before a meeting to get together with the moms. Find out from them how they feel the Bible study is going. If they have any suggestions, comments or concerns. Then, gently, voice your concern about all the words of wisdom these moms are passing out at the meeting. My heart intent was for the mother of each girl to give her own daughter wisdom. When I put myself in this situation, I would want to have the platform of speaking into my daughters life. While there is a place for moms to speak during this meeting, it is a place for the girls to speak about how they understand the chapter and how to apply the Word of God into their particular life situation. You started the group Carla, you are the gentle facilitator of it. After you have spoken with the moms I encourage you tp gently guide the conversation away from the moms to the girls. I know…it takes courage and fortitude to do this…but you can!

About your comment on Chapter 7.
First of all sister, you are not alone. I too have to be constantly aware of my text and tone. 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins he is faithful to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. ” You took the first step. You confessed it. Confession means calling what we are doing wrong by what God calls it. and asking him to cleanse you from it.
Secondly, you confessed it to a fellow believer ,well, actually alot of fellow believers who read this. James 5:16 says Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective I am praying for you and I am sure others are as well.

Finally, you said “but I think He is using this ongoing battle to train me in dependence on Him and perseverance.” Praise God! You see your dependence on Him. I don’t mean to be flip…because I understand the weariness you feel. But, you are on the right track if your struggle drives you back to Him again and again. Be encouraged the Lord is doing something through this. Just make sure you are quick to pause, listen to Him when you feel like saying a sharp word, and respond later if you must respond. IF you say a harsh word make certain you apologize if needed. A heartfelt “I am sorry” prevents a great many wound.

Praying dear Sister,
Shelley

Reply

Daneille April 21, 2011 at 10:16 am

Oh this such a good one for ‘we’ woman! But, oh so very true! I am always quoting the verse and telling them their heart is speaking to me…so is mine to them (ouch)!
Thanks a lot …Lord bless!

Reply

Shelley October 29, 2010 at 1:52 pm

Hello Paige,
Welcome! I am so grateful you discovered us as you were going through the Beautiful Girlhood books with your daughter. My prayer is that the Lord will use this for His glory in you and your daughters life. Keep checking in!
Blessings,
Shelley

Reply

Paige October 28, 2010 at 10:21 pm

Just found your blog when researching more about Beautiful Girlhood books. We live in Australia and I am working through the book with my nine year old. Love your message and it’s a very appealing blog. Good luck and I’ll keep checking in.

Reply

Cupcakecommander October 31, 2010 at 7:06 pm

Paige,

Make sure to check out the Pumpkin Seed Press Facebook page as well for a chance to interact with your counterparts from around the world. The address is http://www.facebook.com/PumpkinSeedPress.

Cupcakecommander

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: