Chapter 3 – Keeping up Acquaintances

by Shelley Noonan

Hello again!

Over the last two weeks,we have just begun our journey through beautiful girlhood and we have examined the different facets of transition your daughter is facing. She is experiencing so many changes in her body, in her thinking, and even in her feelings. This week the focus  remains on the theme of transition. You can find out so many more ideas for activities and Bible study in The Companion Guide to Beautiful Girlhood.  In this chapter we will be examining the difficulties and the benefits of your daughter staying acquainted with both mom and dad. I know ladies; I can almost hear some of you thinking that acquainted sounds like an archaic term! But I can assure you of this, there is so much value in this concept for our daughters.

Often, it is counter-intuitive for young women to remain aware and in-tune with people they are closest to. When they are undergoing this powerful transition some girls draw into themselves, hole up in their rooms, become less talkative because they are trying to process what is happening to them. As a mom, you might feel like you can’t say or do anything that makes your girl happy. They become acutely aware of situations that occur in the normal everyday life of a family and take it personally or feel slighted. I like to call this malady ingrown eyeballs. The symptoms are oversensitivity, egocentric thinking, and dare I say, downright selfishness. This can be hard to deal with even if she has just a touch of it!

One of the weapons in your mom-arsenal is training your daughter to look outside of herself and her needs. By training her to be selfless you will be doing her a great favor in present and future relationships.

Mom, do you realize this is a perfect time to take the first step in developing a two way relationship with your daughter?

By remaining acquainted with your daughter, and she with you, you are molding her into a woman who can identify and experience healthy friendships with other women. Unfortunately, we’ve all had a friend or two where it was all about her. Friendship is a two way street.

Another weapon in your mom-arsenal is to find ways to include dad in this process of being acquainted. Let me suggest  my Daddy’s Little Girl Bundle. This bundle includes a book written by my husband and I entitled The Three Weavers Plus Companion Guide. This tale is based off a story written by Annie Fellows Johnson entitled The Three Weavers.   When I approached Bob about doing this with me he said he would under two conditions. 1. It must be short. 2. It must be to the point. We divided this study into 7 chapter, and included  a Bible study for Dad, a Father Daughter Bible Study, Discussion Guide,  and Activities.

Daddy’s Little Girl Bundle It’s true, the first man a little girl falls in love with is her father…but daughters also often mystify their fathers. One thing always remains; daughters will always be their daddy’s little girl. And that’s why we created Daddy’s Little Girl Bundle! ($31.95 Value)

 

Blessings,

__________________________________________________________

Activity:

  • Plan a special outing with your daughter and see how well you know each other! {see our FREEBIE download below} Plan it either with your husband or separately. The goal is to help you become better acquainted.

Memory Verse:

Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others.

Ponder and Post:

Mable Hale, author of Beautiful Girlhood wrote,The great foe of these years is selfishness, and the girl who comes to the most perfect womanhood learns to fight selfishness with all her might.”

  • Do you agree or disagree? What are ways you have found successful to train your daughter in this trait? Tell me and the others in the comments
  • Do you think “remaining acquainted” can be a tough undertaking for both dad and daughter? Why or why not?  What are some ways you encourage this relationship?

Recommended Resources:

FREEBIE OF THE WEEK! Enjoy this free download of our Intimacy Questionnaire, an excerpt from the presentation Mentoring Your Daughter. Mom, you fill out the answers to your questions on a piece of paper and then fill out the questions as if your daughter were answering them. Have your daughter do the same and see how much you know about each other. This is a fun way to remain familiar with each other!

The Three Weavers Plus Companion Guide Our newest book! Fathers understandably feel awkward discussing purity with their daughters. However, The Three Weavers Plus Companion Guide invites fathers to bravely assume their God given responsibility to protect their daughter’s purity for marriage while cultivating a close, loving relationship that will influence future generations. The Three Weavers Plus Companion Guide is intended to be a tool for fathers to mentor their daughters between the ages of 12-18 years. $13.95


 

 

 

The Principles of The Three Weavers ~ 6 Keys to Guarding Your Daughter’s Heart CD/MP3     The first man a little girl falls in love with is her father. Yet fathers are often unaware of the crucial role they play in their daughter’s lives as they grow from little girls to young women. The Three Weavers Plus Companion Guide invites fathers to bravely assume their God given responsibility to protect their daughter’s purity for marriage while cultivating a close, loving relationship that will influence future generations.  $9.95


So Much More than Sugar and Spice CD/MP3 What are little girls made of? Sugar and Spice and everything nice. While this is not the only information a father has about his daughter, dads are often unaware of who their daughter is and what makes her tick.  Shelley helps father gain insight into the daughter’s hearts and methods to develop a relationship beyond sugar and spice. Based on The Three Weavers. $9.95

{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }

Elizabeth August 28, 2012 at 6:48 pm

I am 13 years old and am literally crying so hard reading this! I have been longing to have a daddy/daughter date for so long, and I know this sounds a bit selfish, but how would I let my daddy know that I’d like to go on one without sounding pushy?

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Shelley August 29, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Hello Elizabeth,
I know how you feel! A girls relationship with her father is so precious. Perhaps the best approach would be to speak with your mother about your desire. Perhaps you could mention a bible study, like The Three Weavers Plus Companion Guide to your dad for you to go over. It is a six week course and would give you something to talk about! Let me know what you think of talking to your mom soshe could talk with your dad about this!
Hugs to you!
Shelley

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Elizabeth August 29, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Thank you so much, Sarah! That sounds like a great idea. I’ll try it today!

P.S. I love your website! It has been such a blessing to me.

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Sarah January 3, 2012 at 7:34 pm

I have known this certian girl for almost five years now and yet I still feel as though we are only acquaintances. We contiunaly loose contact due to diffreces in daily activeties and over a small peirod of time we will regain contact once more and again become acqainted. We are good friends and have manny things in common we will skipe some times, call each other, and e-mail as well yet we continualy slip apart and reconect. If anyone can tell me a good way to keep conected with her please say so.
Thank you,
Sarah

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Shelley January 4, 2012 at 2:11 pm

You have VERY good questions Sarah!
I have some suggestions Sarah. These are off the top of my head…
1. Write a story and pass it back and forth. Each of you must write a page and then mail it back to each other to continue the story.
2. Send a questionnaire. Each of you make up 25 questions your wondering about each other and send them to each other. First you answer your friends questions and send them back to her and vica versa. Make sure you compare your answers. Where are you similar, where are you different.
3. Set up a time each month/week to call each other and talk on the phone.
4. Plan activities that you can include your friend in.
5. Read the same book and discuss it.
6. Take up the same hobby such as scrap booking, knitting, sewing, cooking, gardening, and learn it together!
7.Take a co-op class together if that is possible.
8. Set up a time to meet via Skype. One great way to make a connection via Skype is to do a Bible study together and talk about the chapter.
9. In the olden days, people would keep a “running” letter going. For example, you would write the letter over the course of a week and explain what was goign on in your life. Sort of like an event diary.
10. TIME. There is no substitution for spending time together…look for ways you can do this!
Hope this helped Sarah! If anyone else has some suggestion I hope you comment!
Hugs,
Shelley

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Sarah January 4, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Thank you, those are some wonderful ideas! I have been writing books for quite a while now yet sadly have not compleated one. 🙁 I have started a book with one of my other friends but honestly it had not crossed my mind to do one with her. Do you think you would have any writing tips for me? I will try do do some of the other things with her as well. Actualy we met in a co-op class that we were in a while back, but saddy now I have moved about an hour and a half away from her so we don`t get together much. I greatly appreceate your kindness and help.
In Christ,
Sarah

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Sarah January 1, 2012 at 9:25 am

I`m homeschooled and use both the Beautiful Girlhood as well as the Companion Guide as some of my schooling books. Whenever our teachers guide says to do so for that week of school and read one Chapter of the book together. it`s great to have something to look forward to in school ,and to do it with my mother just makes it all the more special. Thank you for providing these books for Mothers and Daughters to help us build our realationship. 🙂

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Shelley January 1, 2012 at 11:29 am

Hi Sarah! I am delighted you and your mom are using our study. Did you write this letter to me because of the chapter? Chapter 3 is on staying acquainted. Thank you so much for your encouragement and for the glimpse into your life you have allowed me by writing this note. Please keep in touch! I would love to stay acquainted with you!
Blessings,
Shelley

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Sarah January 2, 2012 at 12:18 pm

We are enjoying your study very much and I`m glad to be able to speak to you. Chapter 3 was our most reasent reading. It`s neat to be able to sort of look into my heart through a diffrent persptive as well as see what is going through other`s minds around me through diffrent situations. As you already know I am homeschooled as well as my two younger syblings. It has been nice talking to you. Thank you for your reply.
Wishing you a Happy New Year,
Sarah

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Barb S. September 29, 2011 at 10:04 pm

Been thinking about this chapter some more, and while we do need to remind our daughters to be less self-focused and more other-focused, something else struck me too. See my post here: http://trainingourdaughters.blogspot.com/2011/09/keeping-up-acquaintances-beautiful.html

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Shelley August 29, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Thanks for mulling this over Barb and sharing your wisdom!

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Julie Macier September 29, 2011 at 8:43 pm

I would love to win this for my husband & daughter. My husband is a wonderful, godly man. He does so much for our daughter & me. I think this would be great to enrich their relationship.

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Karen September 29, 2011 at 4:29 pm

I would love for all 6 of my girls to go through this with their daddy.

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Cindy T September 29, 2011 at 10:02 am

As a daughter to a father who is not in contact with her, I appreciate my husband’s interest in maintaining his relationships to our daughters. Any way to further these relationships is ideal! Thanks for the giveaway and all the information you make available.

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Tracy September 29, 2011 at 9:54 am

What a blessing this would be to our family.

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Barb S. September 28, 2011 at 10:12 pm

OK, we read this today. This was an intense chapter. We discussed teens hiding themselves in their rooms and the effect this can have on their relationships with their family members. I want to encourage Katie more to be an instigator in conversations with her dad. He comes home so exhausted. This chapter had lots of food for thought, and I look forward to going over the questions in the companion guide tomorrow.

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Rebecca September 28, 2011 at 6:34 am

Oh, this would be a GREAT package for any home desiring close relationships…I think it would even bring a closeness to all…not just the Daddy/Daughter!

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Michelle E September 27, 2011 at 11:07 pm

My husband has been blessed with four daughters. (He’s really outnumbered!) He’s is so patient and so loving with them. This giveaway would be such a great gift for him to encourage and support those important relationships with his girls.

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Felicia September 27, 2011 at 9:18 pm

My husband is blessed with three girls so far. His oldest is turning 13 in two weeks and could really use some encouragement.

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Sharon September 27, 2011 at 9:17 pm

We have six children, four of which are girls! My husband loves his little girls so much, but there are many times he just doesn’t relate to them. I didn’t have a good relationship with my father growing up, and I have prayed many, many times that my husband will have the relationship with our daughters that I wanted with my father. I know that these resources would be invaluable in that effort.

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Kristi September 27, 2011 at 3:37 pm

What a GREAT giveaway!! My husband and daughter are so close, but he was raised by a bachelor, with a brother. He knows pretty much little to nothing in regards to little-but-getting-bigger girls. 😉 He is trying, though, bless his heart, and he’s doing everything he can to learn. He would just LOVE to win this!!

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Jennifer September 27, 2011 at 1:04 pm

I’m really enjoying this time with my girls, this has been the answer to my prayers for qualitiy time. The girls ask every night can we do our bible study mom. I’m not a person who ca sew so we have come up with our own crafts. one which is ongoing; a beatitudes book . this weel we are making mommy daughter bracelets. I know that my husband would really enjoy a book to help him with getting time with his girls. Thanks for the having a giveway.

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Krystal September 26, 2011 at 7:53 pm

My husband has a hard time with my daughter growing up and I think that this will help both him and my daughter to have a stronger bond and ease the worries that he has with her changes.

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Shannon September 26, 2011 at 5:44 pm

I would love to win this prize because I did not have this kind of relationship with my father growing up. I think this would be a great way to educate myself and my husband on what to do and not to do. I could encourage him to be the father our daughter needs by reading this book and doing what it says.

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Martha Huber September 26, 2011 at 4:27 pm

This is a great giveaway. I know it would help my husband to be able to share that time with his daughters. The “Beautiful Girlhood Companion” is certainly helping me and giving me tons of encouragement along the way! Thank you so much!

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Kristen September 26, 2011 at 3:35 pm

I too would love this bundle! My just turned 8 year old daughter LOVES being with her daddy but he could use more ideas and tools. Thanks for the opportunity!

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Chris September 26, 2011 at 2:37 pm

I love watching the relationship between my daughter and my husband. They have their own inside jokes, interests and even handshake. You can see her blossom under his loving comments and attention.

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Rhoda Kindred September 26, 2011 at 2:07 pm

I have two daughters, the oldest who is a very grown up 10 yr. old. I just ordered the books to do this study with her. She loves her dad, but sometimes even though he tries hard to understand her, they don’t always connect. I am also busy with the two little kids, so sometimes she gets left out . Thanks for the chance to win.

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Susan September 26, 2011 at 1:44 pm

My husband tries very hard to connect with our 3 daughters (and does a very good job). I would love for him to have this to help him along. Thanks for this giveaway!

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Lisa September 26, 2011 at 1:03 pm

I am fairly new to your blog. I appreciate it much, though. My daughter is nearly eight years old, and I have felt the burden to pursue her heart more intentionally. I see daughters and mother-daughter relationships, especially, suffering. I don’t want that for our home. Thanks for your resources and for the chance to win this bundle!

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Norma September 26, 2011 at 7:12 am

My husband is a good dad, but had no sisters and no experience with little girls, so I think this prize package would be a great resource for him. Thanks for the chance!

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Barb S. September 26, 2011 at 7:10 am

I love that our church and homeschool group regularly do service projects. These are even important to do as a family and as simple as taking a loaf of bread to an elderly neighbor. Katie really enjoys these. And we are planning a mission trip to Mexico in February. I am so eager to see how God will use this to work in all our lives! (Please pray for us. buildingforreynosa.blogspot.com)

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Corey September 26, 2011 at 7:07 am

Hi. My daughter (10yrs) are really enjoying this study together. It’s been a special time for the two of us. It’s really teaching me to be intentional in the time we have together. I’ve been very appreciative of the blogs by both Shelly and Megan. Thank you so much for this guide! We’d love to win the “Daddy’s Little Girl” bundle as well!

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Wendy T September 26, 2011 at 6:49 am

I thought I was ready for this study with my daughter. After last week’s lesson, where I cried while we were reading the chapter… yeah, not so much. Not because I was sad, but just because my oldest daughter is changing into a woman and I get to be a part of it.
Glad that I get to take this journey with other moms.
Thank you, Shelly, for giving me this opportunity.
wt

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Nina September 26, 2011 at 6:00 am

We have four daughters – two in their 20s and 12 year twins – most of my prayer time is spent praying for my husband and the awesome job he has in being a Daddy to these magnificent young women. I would love to win this gift pack to help him – another tool in his toolbox!!

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Lisa September 26, 2011 at 5:56 am

My Daughters would love to win this ‘bundle’ of goodies– Thanks Shelley for all your effort and giving–that go into this study!

~Lisa

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Janice H September 26, 2011 at 5:21 am

Just got introduced to your materials & am so thankful!! My oldest daughter is 10 yrs old. May God continue to bless you with wisdom to share on these topics that are so important.

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Brandy September 26, 2011 at 4:21 am

This has been a struggle for me and my daughter:( I fear I have waited too long to reach out. I had asked many to pray for us on this journey and now I am asking anyone who reads this. My daughter is 12 yrs old and thinks I am trying to tourture her by doing this study together. I try to keep it short and light, but I also expressed to her that it it my responsabilty to guide and prepare her for this. I also apoligized for the lack of guidence thus far. I will press on and I am praying it gets easier. I think having her Dad do this at the same time might be overwhelming for her, but I owuld love to have this for them to do together after we are done.

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Sarah January 3, 2012 at 8:46 am

I have prayed for you.

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Shelley August 29, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Thank you very much!
Shelley

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Daneille April 21, 2011 at 10:08 am

Love the word, ‘malady’-that’s a keeper! My daughter and I have always been close but I do see that wanted to withdraw a bit. But, I try to maintain that openness with her hoping she will with me. Good word today!

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painter 11 January 17, 2011 at 4:54 am

Took me time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the article. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! It’s always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained! I’m sure you had fun writing this article.

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gail September 28, 2010 at 4:23 am

Like “Pumpkin Seed Press”

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gail September 28, 2010 at 4:21 am

Facebooked the contest. 🙂

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gail September 28, 2010 at 4:18 am

entering to win “Daddy’s Little Girl Bundle”.

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gail September 28, 2010 at 4:17 am

Am excited about all the godly materials your site has to offer. 🙂

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Tracy Richey September 27, 2010 at 11:28 pm

Love Pumpkin Seed Press! Wonderful resources and so fun to have a giveaway! Thank you for all that you do! Tracy Richey

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Paula September 27, 2010 at 8:05 pm

I have emailed friends in hopes of winning.

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Shelley September 27, 2010 at 8:11 pm

Way to post Paula! You know you can enter a chance to win for every friend you have emailed too!
Good luck 🙂

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Paula September 27, 2010 at 8:04 pm

I have posted about this on FB in hopes of winning.

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Paula September 27, 2010 at 8:04 pm

I am commenting in hopes of winning!! 😀

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Laura September 27, 2010 at 4:37 pm

Would love to use these with my family. I shared this give away on facebook and twitter! Thanks for giving away!

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