Chapter 26~ Boy Friends

by Shelley Noonan

Just last week  in our study of Beautiful Girlhood and The Companion Guide to Beautiful Girlhood, we talked about the awakening of the love nature in our little girls. It seems to happen overnight! It seems as though yesterday she was playing with dolls and the next day she has put her Barbie away and is thinking more and more about the real live Ken!

Each family must set its own guidelines for the relationships their daughter will have with young men. And this chapter discusses several ideas for keeping the relationship between tweenage girls and boys healthy, pure and innocent. Remember Song of Songs 2:7 reminds us to not “awaken love” until its time!   So, instead of giving you a list of things NOT to do to awaken love, check out the Activity portion of this study and gather some of the ideas of what you can do!

I just know you are going to have a memorable time talking to your daughter about this topic! Don’t be afraid of this topic…but rather approach it with confidence! After all, 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” Praise God. Right now, you have the opportunity to influence your daughter’s future opinions, choices and decisions. Embrace this moment.

Praying for you,


Activity: Go on a little date with your  hubby and talk to him about how he feels about the following suggestions. Work on a plan together!

1.   Group activities are encouraged. Girls and boys can do things as a group and the goal is to have fun…not to pair off!

2.   Chaperons are encouraged. I can hear some of you say that this notion sounds like an old fashioned idea but it still makes sense today! That is why I am such a fan of having my home be the place where my children and their friends hangout. When you are a part of the activity, you have a plethora of opportunities to discuss various situations with your daughter.

3.   Friendships with boys as friends are encouraged. These relationships can be so advantageous to our daughters! She can observe the differences between young men who are of good character and those who are not. Mom, instead of cloaking the opposite sex with mystery and not discussing obvious differences, these open frank friendships will offer numerous opportunities for you to discuss qualities with your daughter and guide her.

4.   Recognize boundaries within the boy and girl friendships.  This is a perfect opportunity for you to speak with your daughter about what is appropriate and what is not as far as language, physical contact, etc. At this age, it is a good idea to give the rationale behind the boundaries as It can only help your daughter to better understand and respect the boys she has as friends in her life.

Memory verse: Psalm 119:63

I am a friend to all who fear you, to all who follow your precepts.


Ponder and Post:

  • Pass on some of your strategies you and your husband have come up with to help your daughter develop good, godly friendships with young men.
  • What are some of the ways you have created a home that has your home become THE place for your children’s peers to hangout?

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Tracy October 3, 2013 at 8:00 am

Hi Shelley
Wow! Thank you for this wonderful resource. I am a grade two teacher in south Africa and run a bible class for our grade 6 and 7 girls. This has been a great help to me as I only have two small boys. Thanks a mil.


Shelley March 12, 2014 at 4:56 pm

Hello Tracy,
I am so happy you found us. Let me know if there is anything else you need~
Blessings, Shelley


Lisa March 26, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Great ideas! We encourage the same things as well! Our society is way too lax about boy-girl relationships and not serious enough about preserving hearts, minds, and bodies for marriage – and ultimately, Jesus!


Shelley March 26, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Thanks for responding Lisa!


Jennifer~Renewing Housewives March 26, 2012 at 11:55 am

Shelley, I loved your comment; “Friendships with boys as friends are encouraged.”
YES! I have seen so so many guys and girls start to get into a courtship, etc and they don’t talk and barely even look at each other.

I believe in sheltering, but many of us conservative parents are doing are children a major disservice by keeping them far away from the opposite sex!


Shelley March 26, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Hello Jennifer,
I have often seen families sheltering their child but not protecting them. One of the way we can protect our children is by allowing natural friendships to develop. Then a girl or boy won’t be naive and unfamiliar with the behaviors of the opposite sex! This understanding can also serve as a protection for our children!


Kelly March 31, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Shelley, will this online study be available in the future. I would like to use this with my daughter in a year or two. I am excited for the opportunity to go through this study with her.


Shelley Noonan March 31, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Hi Kelly! My plan is to start a new class every September and run until May. But, I will leave the chapters up and available for those moms who want to go though it at another time or seperatly. Oh, I am excited for you and your daughter. Join our facebook page and you will get updates! Blessings to you Kelly! Shelley


michelle March 28, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Thank you Shelley for this resource. With our oldest being only eight, it gives us a little extra time to digest some of this stuff til we need to “use” it with her. 🙂 I am excited to receive the books soon and really be able to dive in heart and eyes first. It usually takes me a bit to digest things, so for us to do that ahead of time will be a blessing.


Shelley Noonan March 28, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Smart girl! Michelle, I am the same way and like to ponder things a bit before I dive in. Thanks for posting and if you have any other question,let me know!


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